five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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