Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
