I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Found the puke drawer
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize