wakey wakey hands off snakey
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
