Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
