She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
BRING THE BAGELS
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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