Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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