Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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