Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
