i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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