I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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