PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
