can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
