Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I am mentally ready for anal.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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