I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
