I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize