Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
