It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
