just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
