soooo we both peed the bed last night...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
