So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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