I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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