It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
