I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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