from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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