I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
