I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
