and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
