Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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