but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She told me I should be a condom model.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
