he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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