go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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