There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
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I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
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Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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