you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
