awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
