...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
