There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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