I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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