Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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