Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
