Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My dick has a subreddit
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
