Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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