I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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