My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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