don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize