Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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