Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
