remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
