Barsexuality is the new black.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
