my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You're breaking my sexual little heart
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
