Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize