after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
