So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
