You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I want a musical about memes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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