She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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