So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
