some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
