So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
