I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
