i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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