just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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