We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
