Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
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ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
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I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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