Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
