i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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