Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
