How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
