How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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