The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
