so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
