I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
