So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
