Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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