Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
