Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
