mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
